The One With the Camping Trip
by Bingalicious Midnight
Summary: The friends tell the story of a disastrous high school campting trip. Mostly RossRachel, with a little bit of PheobeJoey. Warning: it's a slight AU.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Um. Not mine.

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THE ONE WITH THE STORY ABOUT THE CAMPING TRIP

Prologue

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A/N: Here is the new and rewritten prologue. It should fit in a little better with the rest of the story. Enjoy.

A/N2: This story may become slightly AU... Phoebe and Chandler attend Lincoln High for a little while.

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"I win!" Monica exclaimed, placing her last red seven on the Uno pile. Ross threw his cards down to the table in disgust. They very nearly hit the candle that was the only source of light during the blackout.

"Come on," he said. "This is the third game you've won in a row. Let's just stop now. This is—this is boring."

"It's boring or you're afraid you'll lose again?" Monica retorted.

"Hey. Geller children," Chandler said. "Stupid argument, but I'm afraid I agree with Ross over there. This is kind of boring. What did you guys do last blackout?"

"Weren't you here?" Joey asked.

"No, I was stuck in the ATM--" he paused, searching for the word, "thing."

"With the Victoria's Secret model!" Joey exclaimed in recognition. "Okay, what we did then was play Monopoly, look for a cat, and discussed the weirdest places we'd ever done it..." Joey's grin was all too evident in the flickering firelight.

"Okay okay," Chandler said hurriedly, afraid Joey would launch into a description of his strangest "I get it. So what do you want to do now?"

"I could keep winning," Monica suggested.

Ross laughed and stuck out his tongue. "Oh no you can't. Cause I was about to sweep in there with about five Wild draw fours and kick your ass."

"Wanna bet?"

"Mon, remember what happened the last time we bet something? The apartment...?" Rachel cut in.

Monica shrugged. "Yeah, you're right. So I guess I could just keep winning, and winning, and winning..."

Ross snorted out a laugh. "Yeah. You'll keep winning," he said sarcastically.

"Tell me this," Joey said. "Why is it that whenever it's a holiday you two act like you're eight years old?" he held up his hand to still any replies, "Like your troll nailed to a 2x4-trophy?"

"Hey Joe," Ross said, "This is a blackout, not a holiday."

"Whatever," Joey said. "It feels like a holiday 'cause we're all hanging out here instead of at Central Perk."

"Ooh! I've go an idea of something to do!" Phoebe exclaimed. "We can tell holiday stories!"

"And why is that?" Monica asked.

"Or," Rachel said, "We could just tell stories. Not like ghost stories. I mean stuff like Monica and Ross' Geller Cup adventures. Or our worst thanksgivings. But maybe not as bad," she added under the glares of her friends.

"You know," Monica said, "That's not a bad idea. I've got plenty of stories of me and Ross as kids... Well, I think you already head about Bea who drinks tea..."

Ross sighed loudly. "Do they have to be about us as kids? I don't need you to embarrass me at the moment."

"Well _I_ don't have any good stories," Chandler said. "Let's see, my dad was gay, my mom wrote novels about people having sex, uh, most people hated me, and that about sums it up."

"Come on, we can't have three people without stories," Rachel said. "Why don't we all tell one?"

Chandler raised his eyebrows. "We're still different people, remember?"

"I know that," Rachel returned, "But I knew Monica and Phoebe, Ross knew Chandler, and I'm sure Joey appeared in our lives at some point... And there's gotta be some time we can fill everyone in about. Like... like that camping trip in high school where we all got split up."

Ross groaned. "Do we have to?"

"Actually, that would be interesting," Phoebe said. "We were all there, but I only know what happened near me. And" she giggled, "Joey. I'd love to hear about the rest of you guys."

"But... but I hated that," Ross said. "And there's stuff that--that shouldn't be, uh, uncovered."

"Well now I gotta hear this!" Joey said.

"That shouldn't be uncovered?" Monica wondered. "I know you got hurt, Ross, but that wasn't exactly a secret. So there was another secret? We've got to tell this story now."

"Okay, okay," Ross said resignedly.

"So is everybody in?" Rachel asked. She got nods and 'yes's of approval. "Okay then. Who starts?"

When nobody began, she shrugged. "I guess I'll start..."

"Go right ahead."

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	2. Invitations

Disclaimer: We love show friends... Cuz it is very good. We love show friends... But we do not own it... (Sing to the tune of The Moon Song [which I don't own either; it belongs to www.rathergood.com] We love tha moooon!)  
  
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THE ONE WITH THE STORY TELLING  
  
Chapter Two: Invitations  
  
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Rachel was a rich, pretty, and popular girl in Lincoln High. She wasn't much for math, or anything that required too much thought, but she had a boyfriend and a number of other friends who liked to giggle about the same things she did. All in all life was pretty good for a sixteen-year-old girl, soon to be seventeen.  
  
Her best friend, she safely say, was Monica Geller, even if she was something of a loser, with an even more loserly brother called Ross. But this aside, if she had to guess who she would still be in touch with after high school, it would be Monica.  
  
"Ms. Greene," someone said. Someone. Her teacher. "I asked you the answer to this equation. It was on the homework: number nine."  
  
"It was four and then a lot of decimal places," Rachel answered.  
  
Ross, Monica's loser brother's hand shot up from somewhere in back of her.  
  
"Yes, Ross?"  
  
"Actually, the answer is seventy-four-point-three pi. Would you like me to show you how I found my answer?"  
  
Rachel dove back into her thoughts as Ross walked up to the board and began doing something with some equation that Rachel really didn't care about. She knew she probably should be paying attention, but math had never been one of her strong points. She wondered why she was in the same class as Ross. Oh well... didn't matter.  
  
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Chandler sat on the counter in the bathroom, busy skipping class. He hated his name, he decided. Chandler Bing. What was wrong with his parents? That thought made him smile ironically. There was a lot wrong with his parents, and not just their choice in names. Which was probably the reason he always ate lunch alone, or with Ross Geller (who was probably less popular than Chandler, if that was possible.)  
  
To make matters worse, the back of his head hurt, because someone had just made an effort to bang it against the lockers, and succeeded. He wasn't even sure who had done it; just some random 'cool' guy who wanted to piss me off, Chandler thought. Sometimes life sucked.  
  
He stared at his reflection in the mirror. He wasn't much to look at. This, at least, was evident by the lack of girls following him around. There were people like Chip, one of the 'cool guys' who seemed to have their own personal fan clubs.  
  
Chandler wasn't even sure if he had a good friend. Sure, he talked to Ross occasionally, but that was it really. Yes; life sucked.  
  
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Lunch came at long last, and Phoebe searched for a place to sit in the lunchroom. She wasn't too hungry; she had lived on the street for a few years, and had gone for longer than this without food, but she liked to eat at mealtime. It felt official. She saw an empty seat next to a girl she'd talked to before. Phoebe was fairly sure her name was Monica, or something like that. She'd never met the person sitting next to her, but she knew her name started with an 'R'.  
  
Maybe it's Rufus, she thought. But that really wasn't likely.  
  
"Hello, Monica," Phoebe said as she sat down.  
  
"—So Rachel, would you want to come on the trip? Oh, hi, Phoebe."  
  
"What trip?" Phoebe asked, drowning out whatever answer the 'R' girl—Rachel—might have had.  
  
Monica took on what might be interpreted as a pained expression, but Phoebe was sure it wasn't. After all, they were friends. "I'm going on a camping trip. With a friend."  
  
"Take me!" Phoebe said.  
  
"If you hadn't noticed, she just asked me," Rachel cut in. "Anyway, Mon, I'd love to go."  
  
"But can't you take two friends?" Phoebe asked. It was worth a try.  
  
Monica felt bad for Phoebe, in a way. She didn't have that many friends, but she really wasn't a bad person. "Uh... sure."  
  
"Monica!" Rachel hissed.  
  
"Rachel!" Monica mocked her friend's expression and tone, making them both laugh.  
  
"So when is it?" Phoebe asked. She could tell that Rachel didn't like her, but she didn't care. Rachel was a stupid prep.  
  
"It's happening over this weekend. Come over to my house on Saturday?" Monica asked Rachel and Phoebe.  
  
"Sure," they both said.  
  
Then: "Ewwww," Rachel moaned. "My hot dog is cold in the inside!"  
  
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Ross placed his books in his locker, grabbing his wallet and heading down to the lunchroom. He was late for lunch again because some stupid gang of kids had held him up in the hallway. Apparently Monica had told Rachel that he still had dinosaur toys lining his shelves. And of course Rachel had told everyone that she even remotely knew in the school. And then of course a few of his classmates had decided that this was the time to try to shove Ross into a locker. It wasn't really HIS fault that he liked dinosaurs; SOMEONE had to.  
  
Okay, Ross, he told himself, calm down. This day will be over soon enough.  
  
He got his lunch and sat down at a mostly empty table. The only other person was sitting with his head slumped over his arms on the table. He looked like Chandler—what was it? Bling? Bing?--, whom Ross had talked to a few times, though it was hard to tell from a view of his back and the top of his head.  
  
"Um, hey," Ross said.  
  
"Yo," the figure said flatly and sarcastically without raising his head, as if he didn't care who was talking to him or why.  
  
"Um, are you okay?" Ross asked. He really had to stop 'umming,' but it was a nervous habit that was hard to break.  
  
"Peachy," the person said, in that same monotone voice.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Who cares?"  
  
"Um, me." Yes, Ross, THAT sounded intelligent.  
  
He should stop talking to himself, too.  
  
"Who are you?" Chandler raised his head. "But not too loud, because my head feels like crap. Then again, you probably don't care."  
  
"Um, I'm Ross Geller. Are you okay?"  
  
"Told you, I'm peachy," Chandler said sarcastically.  
  
"I meant, what's wrong?"  
  
"Oh, the usual... everyone hates me, my head hurts, my life sucks... And how are you today?"  
  
Ross almost answered the question before he realized that Chandler was still being sarcastic. "Everyone hates you?" he asked instead.  
  
"Yep." Chandler switched positions in his chair so he was no longer completely slumped over and was actually looking at Ross. "And it's not exactly my fault that I've got the dad that I do, is it."  
  
"Mmn," Ross said intelligently. "And your head hurts?"  
  
"What are you, my psychiatrist?"  
  
"Guess so," Ross laughed. Chandler didn't.  
  
"If you really want to know, my head was slammed first against the lockers, then against the wall. And now I've got a headache."  
  
"A few people tried to stuff me in a locker," Ross said. "It didn't work."  
  
Something resembling a smile flitted across Chandler's face. "So I guess I'm not alone. Though you wouldn't happen to have a 'homosexual' father, would you?"  
  
Ross looked somewhat shocked and Chandler laughed at the expression on his face. Strange, though, that Ross hadn't known. EVERYONE knew.  
  
"Well, I'm surprised you didn't know," Chandler said. "Anyway, how's your day been going?"  
  
"I almost got stuffed in a locker because I have dinosaur toys in my room," Ross said. "Other than that, perfectly normal."  
  
"Dinosaur toys?" Chandler asked, and Ross wondered how he hadn't known. That was the kind of thing that got around.  
  
"I'm a geek," Ross laughed. "And my sister has a big mouth and so does her best friend."  
  
"Well, no one told me. If you couldn't tell, I'm not quite in the center of the gossip circles."  
  
"Me neither," Ross said, though it was rather obvious. He only had a few friends, including Chandler, and they were almost as far removed from popularity as he was.  
  
He was somewhat startled when Monica tapped him on the shoulder. He hadn't noticed her approach. "Ross, I've got my two friends, so you're taking one."  
  
"Who's coming?" Ross asked.  
  
"Rachel and that girl Phoebe," Monica said. "You know, she's new. Who're you bringing?"  
  
Ross shrugged. "I dunno."  
  
"Well, goodbye!" Monica said, and was off.  
  
Ross needed to pick a friend to take on his and Monica's camping trip this weekend. They had two tents, one that slept two people and one that slept three. Their parents had told them that "girls take one tent and boys take the other one". That meant that someone got to bring two friends and the other one. It had seemed only fitting that Monica, who had more friends than her brother should take two friends, and that was how it had worked out.  
  
"Bringing where?" Chandler asked.  
  
"Me and my sister planned a camping trip, and we can each take friends. Well, I can take a friend. Actually," Ross said, an idea forming in his mind, "Would you like to go?"  
  
"When is it?"  
  
"This weekend. Saturday to Sunday."  
  
"I don't think I'm doing anything," Chandler said slowly. "I think my dad and his eyebrows can wait—I don't need allowance that bad. Never mind," he finished quickly as Ross raised an eyebrow of his own.  
  
"Okay..." 


	3. And they were off

Disclaimer: Well, um, actually, I don't own "Friends". I simply write about the characters to amuse myself. Heh heh.  
  
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THE ONE WITH THE STORY ABOUT THE CAMPING TRIP  
  
Chapter Two: And they were off  
  
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Ross clicked the phone back on the hook. Chandler now knew where his house was, and would be coming over with a sleeping bag in two hours. Rachel was already here, gossiping with Monica or whatever girls did when they were alone. Phoebe would arrive at the same time as Chandler.  
  
"Ross, honey, when is your friend coming over? What's his name? Sander?" Ross' mom asked.  
  
"Two hours. Chandler Bing," Ross answered.  
  
"Now that's an odd name," his mother commented. "Anyway, have fun on your trip."  
  
"I will, Mom," Ross answered dutifully.  
  
"Well, I've got to stop by the office now, so how 'bout a kiss goodbye?"  
  
"I'm not a baby, Mom," Ross said.  
  
"Kiss me on the cheek," his mother commanded.  
  
Ross obeyed, but as soon as his mother left he heard giggling, and Monica's voice mimicking his own. "'M not a baby, Mom." And more giggling.  
  
Great. This camping trip would be absolutely delightful. Heh.  
  
Ross went up to his room in search of something to do to pass the time before Chandler arrived. He considered looking over his model dinosaurs (okay, so they were toys), but Monica and Rachel would probably find some way to snoop on him and then suddenly the whole school would know that not only did Ross Geller keep dinosaur toys in his room, he played with them.  
  
Okay. So not dinosaurs. He wandered over to his bookcase and pulled out a book. Books were safe enough. He supposed he could be doing homework, but contrary to recent rumors he did not enjoy homework. A book it was.  
  
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Phoebe hurried the last few steps to the Geller Residence, as the mailbox so nicely pointed out, lugging behind her a sleeping bag as well as a bag of her other... stuff. She hoped she wasn't late. She pounded her finger down on the doorbell. A few minutes later Monica and Rachel opened the door.  
  
"Phoebe, you're early!" Monica said.  
  
Not late then, Phoebe decided.  
  
"So, when do we leave?" Phoebe asked. This was exciting. She'd never gone camping with friends before. Sure she'd slept on doorsteps before but she'd never gone anywhere to camp.  
  
"Um, in about another twenty minutes," Monica said. "Rachel came early too, but we need to wait for Ross' friend, whatever his name was."  
  
"Okay." Phoebe plopped her stuff down on the couch and sat down next to it. "So now what?" she asked.  
  
"I don't know," Monica said. "Er, you can meet my brother if you want."  
  
Rachel giggled. "'M not a baby, Mom," she said, exchanging glances with Monica.  
  
"Okay, I think there's something I don't get," Phoebe said. "Since neither of you are each other's Mom's and neither am I, who are you talking to?"  
  
"Tell you later," Monica said as Ross walked down the stairs. He looked at Monica and banged his fists together twice.  
  
"Mom and dad aren't here," Monica said. "You can flick me off normally now. Oh, and by the way, meet Phoebe—"  
  
"Buffay," Phoebe supplied.  
  
"—Phoebe Buffay. And Phoebe, meet my brother Ross."  
  
"Hi," Phoebe said. Ross nodded in reply. Chandler had better be here soon. This pack of girls was beginning to grate on his nerves. Even if he had a crush on Rachel. How would he be able to stand them for a whole weekend? Of course, things would only get worse from there.  
  
The twenty minutes until Chandler would arrive passed slowly. Ross read in his room while the three girls did—well, whatever girls did—in Monica's room. They were across the hall from him, and he could hear them giggle every once in a while. Probably laughing at him.  
  
Twenty minutes passed. Then another fifteen. And then, finally, the doorbell rang.  
  
Ross jumped up to get it. There was Chandler, holding an old sleeping bag and backpack. "Sorry I'm late," he said.  
  
"No, no, that's fine. Come in." He turned and started up the stairs. He stopped about halfway up and yelled, "Mon! Chandler's here, we can go now!"  
  
"Well, finally!" his sister called back. She lowered her voice and said something that Ross couldn't hear. Whatever it was, it made Rachel and Phoebe giggle. Ross rolled his eyes.  
  
"So, where exactly are we going?" Chandler asked. "Because I don't know of any great camping spots in the Big Apple."  
  
"We're driving out for a few hours until we're out of the city. There's this camping spot called Bear Mountains," Ross said.  
  
"Bear Mountains. I'll sleep safe tonight!" Chandler remarked in his usual manner.  
  
"Wait..." Rachel began. "WE'RE driving? As in us?"  
  
"Oh! Oh! I knew someone once who died driving to a campsite!" Phoebe exclaimed. "He was seventeen."  
  
"Thank you, Phoebe." Could this really get any worse?  
  
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A tiring four hours later they arrived at Bear Mountains Campsite. The drive hadn't been too bad; Ross and Monica had shared the driving (it was their parents' car, and no one else was trusted enough to take the wheel).  
  
Rachel was surprised by the cool, pine-scented air of Bear Mountains. This was nothing like New York City! This was amazing! She stretched her arms way above her head to relieve some of the stiffness of the drive.  
  
She stopped when she caught Ross staring at her. Great. All she needed was Monica's geek-of-a-brother to have a crush on her.  
  
"What now?" Rachel asked. "Don't we put up a tent, and make a fire, and toast marshmallows or whatever else you do when you camp?"  
  
"I don't know," Monica said. "I've never been camping before. Ross, do you know?"  
  
Ross shrugged. "Well, um, I've never camped either, but I read a little bit about it, and I don't think we need to put the tents up right now. We could, I don't know, go hike or something."  
  
"And I have a question," Chandler said. "Who here has gone camping before? Because I sure haven't."  
  
"I'm the only one who hasn't said that I haven't camped," Phoebe pointed out. "And I've slept on doorsteps before, but unless that's what you want to do tonight, I've never camped before either."  
  
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Reviewer Replies:  
  
Iluvjoey4life: Thank you, really glad you like it. Um, I guess I'm updating soon...  
  
Freezyboncoolipants: The camping trip starts now, I hope you keep reading. About Phoebe... All I knew when I started writing this was that Chandler met Joey when he was looking for a roommate, the stuff in TOW the Prom Video. I'll try to keep it more realistic later on...  
  
Exintaris: Thank you, but see Freezyboncoolipants reply for the stuff about Phoebe... 


	4. The Stream

Disclaimer: Hey. Does it look like I own Friends ta you? Nuh-uh.  
  
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A/N: I guess this is sort of an AU with Phoebe here, but I have a half- hearted little explanation here. Ahem. On with the story.  
  
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THE ONE WITH THE STORY ABOUT THE CAMPING TRIP  
  
Chapter Three: The Stream  
  
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"So Ross, it looks like you know the most about camping, because you've 'read a little bit about it'. What do we do now?" Chandler asked.  
  
"Um, I think we can do whatever we want, because it's still early. What do you guys want to do?"  
  
Everyone shrugged. Then, from Phoebe: "Well, we're in the woods. We might as well go hike or something."  
  
"Okay..."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Where do you want to go?" Ross asked. "I know there's a trails that goes up the mountain."  
  
Again, the others agreed. Rachel could care less, really. She didn't hike much, but she didn't really do much that could be done at a camping trip. Shopping and hanging out with her boyfriend, for example. But then she thought of something.  
  
"You know, Phoebe," Rachel began as they walked towards the trail. "I have a little question. I'm not trying to be rude, though."  
  
"What's the question?"  
  
"If you lived on the streets, how did you get into high school so quickly? I mean, you couldn't have been THAT young."  
  
"I'm smart," Phoebe answered, not seeming offended at all. "Anyway, I'm a few grades behind, and I'll probably drop out and do something else with my life other than hang out with a bunch of fourteen-year-olds. Why?"  
  
"I was just curious."  
  
Phoebe shrugged. "If you were me and I was you I might have asked you the same thing you asked me so you shouldn't fell like you were going to offend me even though I might have offended you if I had asked you. Whew, that needed a lot of breath."  
  
"Um... okay..." Rachel smiled uncertainly.  
  
Rachel followed Ross and Monica (who seemed to know the way around best; they must have looked at maps or something) to this trail. It was thin, but fairly well trampled. She couldn't get lost on this.  
  
"Well, this is it," Monica said, gesturing wildly. "Let's go hike!"  
  
"We ARE hiking," Chandler pointed out.  
  
"Well, it's not my fault I'm excited," Monica said. "I mean, who wouldn't be?"  
  
Chandler raised his eyebrows doubtfully and the answer was somewhat obvious, but Rachel stuck up for her best friend.  
  
"I'm excited!" she said.  
  
They had been talking occasionally and hiking for about half an hour when Rachel decided that hiking just wasn't her thing. It was tiring, going up this whole time, and they never seemed to talk about anything interesting. And somehow, once they were on the trail, Ross had ended up behind her, and every time she turned around he was staring.  
  
Also, it was too warm out, and gnats swarmed around her head whenever she was in a patch of sun. Like now.  
  
Maybe she did complain too much. Her old boyfriend had told her that once, and then broke up with her. But she was going out with Chip now, so that was in the past. Ah, Chip...  
  
"So, do you guys want to cross here?" Monica was saying.  
  
Rachel looked down. She hadn't even realized that they had come to this stream. It wasn't that wide, but it was swollen by springtime and the only way to cross seemed to be a log that had fallen across the stream. Or possibly been placed across. Whatever; it was there. The path continued on after the log.  
  
"Sure," Chandler said. He bounded onto the log, and managed to get across without falling in. Something Rachel was sure required a lot of talent. And she was also fairly sure she didn't have that talent.  
  
"Ooh! I'll go!" Phoebe said, and followed Chandler.  
  
"You know, I'd really rather not cross here," Rachel said. "I mean, sure, you guys are talented and all, but I think I'd fall in."  
  
"We can go around and look for a better place to cross," Monica offered. "C'mon Rach, I'll go with you."  
  
"I'll go too," Ross said, looking for a bit too long at Rachel.  
  
"So do we meet you farther up along the path?" Chandler wondered.  
  
They shrugged. "Sure."  
  
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Chandler did not quite relish the thought of hanging out with Phoebe. She didn't seem bad, not at all, but he barely knew her. He'd much rather be hanging out with Ross, the one who'd invited him on this trip.  
  
And he never knew what to say to girls.  
  
"So, um, let's keep going," he said stupidly.  
  
"Okay."  
  
They walked along the path, not talking, until the silence began to bother Chandler so much he just had to say something. But what...?  
  
"Hey Phoebe," he began. Okay, beginning was nice. Now he needed a middle and an end, all the elements of a short story. "Um, um, how do you like Lincoln High?"  
  
She shrugged. "It's okay. But that one teacher, Mr. Bonnan, he teaches math... ugh."  
  
"I hated him too." Chandler smiled. Wow! The conversation was still going! With a girl!  
  
"He's so boring and he gives so much homework."  
  
"I remember when I had him, he gave me about three projects due over spring break. All math. I agree. Ugh."  
  
"How do you spell that?" Phoebe asked suddenly.  
  
"Spell what...?"  
  
"Ugh. Because if you're spelling it U-G-G, with two G's, or U-G, with one G but no H, then you're not really agreeing. And I had to make sure you were."  
  
Chandler narrowed his eyes in some hybrid between thought and confusion. He'd been having a normal conversation with Phoebe and then... Ugh? "I guess I spell it U-G-H," Chandler said hesitantly.  
  
"Good."  
  
And then the conversation died down once more. When would Ross and the other meet up with them?  
  
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Monica walked in the lead, Rachel behind her, and Ross in the back. She forced her way through the brush while Rachel tried her best to avoid the brush. She wasn't sure exactly what her brother was doing here, because he could probably cross the log perfectly fine. And that would be a nice opportunity to show off for Rachel.  
  
Ah, Rachel, that must be it. Poor Ross. He really had no chance with her.  
  
"Hey Mon?" Ross said, interrupting her thoughts. "We're going by the stream, but it looks like the path isn't. Once we cross, we might have some problems meeting up with them."  
  
"It should be fine," she replied, but she was worried. He might be right. What if the path went up and around or down or sideways or something like that? But Rachel didn't want to cross the log. If she fell in she'd probably make the whole camping trip suck for everybody. And even if they did go back, they'd have to catch up with Phoebe and Ross' friend, and that would probably be too hard too. So maybe this was best.  
  
"Hey! Maybe we can cross here!" Rachel exclaimed.  
  
"As long as you can," Ross said.  
  
This stretch of the stream was thinner and shallower than what they'd been trying to cross before. Rocks that made nice stepping stones spanned the width of the stream.  
  
Rachel jumped onto the first rock and almost lost her balance. It must have shifted or something under her weight. But Ross caught her and pulled her back upright before she fell.  
  
"Thanks," she said breathlessly, and continued somewhat more carefully across. Monica and Ross followed.  
  
Now to find Chandler and Phoebe...  
  
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Reviewer Replies  
  
Freezyboncoolipants: Thanks! Here some of what happens... dun dun dun...  
  
Chandler's the King: Thank you... here's an update... What do you mean by Monica being vulgar? Could you explain that a little bit more? I know I can write the characters how I want, but I'd like to keep them as close to the show as possible. Thanks...  
  
less than three: Yay! You like it! I know I have a few details off (mostly Phoebe's existence) bu thanks for the review. Read on.  
  
rachel greene: You probably won't be reading this because you didn't read chapter three, but anyway... I know that Phoebe didn't go to school with the others, but I wanted Phoebe there (so I guess it's a bit of an AU). Thanks for the bit about the ages, I had forgotten.  
  
Iluvjoey4lyfe: Hey, thank you... and my apologies, I spelled you name wrong last time. :)  
  
anonyme: Thanks... glad you like it...  
  
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Wow... so many... Thanks...  
  
Please review this time, too! :) 


	5. So Maybe We're Lost

Disclaimer: Ha, right. Own Friends? No.  
  
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THE ONE WITH THE STORY ABOUT THE CAMPING TRIP  
  
Chapter Four: So Maybe We're Lost  
  
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"Okay, this is not good," Chandler said half to himself and half to Phoebe.  
  
"What is not good?" Phoebe asked.  
  
Chandler smiled a stiff, somewhat sarcastic smile that was more like a grimace than anything else. "There is no way they're going to find us."  
  
"Oh, yeah, I noticed that a while ago."  
  
Chandler stopped walking and swung around to face Phoebe. "What?! Why didn't you say anything?" he sputtered.  
  
"Because we can't go BACK," Phoebe said. "I mean, if we did, we'd have to catch up with them, and that would be too hard. And since there really isn't anything else we could do, we might as well keep going and hope they find us."  
  
"So tell me why I don't feel comforted?"  
  
"Well, cause there's always that chance that they won't find us, and—"  
  
"That's enough."  
  
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"Okay, so, we're across. Like on the other side," Ross said.  
  
"Hmm, I noticed," Monica said.  
  
"I mean, where do we go from here?" Ross asked. "Do you think we should just go in a perpendicular line from here and hope that we intersect the trail at some point? Then we could locate Chandler and Phoebe, and keep going with the hike."  
  
"D'you think you could say that so I understand?" Rachel said, sort of rolling her eyes at her friend's brother. But she wasn't ANGRILY rolling here eyes. She was sort of starting to like Ross. Sort of.  
  
"He wants to know if we should go straight from here until we reach the path," Monica translated. "That's brilliant, Ross, but what if we can't find the path or Chandler and Phoebe?"  
  
"Let's see," Ross said slowly, "We'd be in trouble."  
  
"Thank you so much for that comment, Ross. I was just voicing the possible technical difficulties of your ingenious plan."  
  
It was Ross' turn to roll his eyes. Why hadn't he just gone with Chandler? Why, why, why? He just didn't get along with Monica, and he was sure he never would. They were the epitome of brother-sister rivalry.  
  
"Ross? Hello, Ross, wake up..." Rachel was saying. He was jerked out of his thoughts, feeling rather stupid. "We're walking now," Rachel said. "We decided that we might as well go in a perpendicular—er, do what you said."  
  
"Okay," Ross said in his best 'cool' voice.  
  
They started walking again. For once Rachel was behind Ross, and as she watched him battle his way through the brush, she began to think. He wasn't too bad, really. Sure, he was a bit geeky, but he was helpful, like when he had saved her from falling off the rock into the stream. Would Chip have done that?  
  
Chip. Think about Chip, Rachel told herself. Not Ross. Thinking about Ross can only be bad.  
  
So she stopped.  
  
Ross, amazingly enough, was not thinking about Rachel. He was wondering what time it was, exactly, but he didn't have a watch. They were out later than he really wanted them to be—they'd spent more time hiking than he'd thought and they still had to put up the tent. And make a fire and figure out how to use the funny camping cooking utensils.  
  
Monica might be slightly obsessive about cleaning, but Ross was slightly obsessive with being on time. He hated to be late, or to not have enough time to do something. And this was not looking good.  
  
"Mon, how long do you think we've been out here?" he asked.  
  
"I don't know, maybe an hour and a half? I haven't been checking the time."  
  
That meant an hour and a half going back, too. It would be getting dark when they got back. Ross didn't want to put up the tent—tents, he reminded himself—in the dark. He pointed this out to the girls.  
  
"Not necessarily," Monica said. "We've been going in kind of a triangle, I think. So there should be less time going back."  
  
"I hope so," Ross said.  
  
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"This trail is definitely turning," Chandler said.  
  
"I know."  
  
"And it's starting to get dark."  
  
"I know."  
  
Chandler looked up for inspiration. Finding none he turned back to Phoebe. "Do you think we should go back and find the others?"  
  
"Do you really think that would work? We'd probably get lost."  
  
Chandler sighed. "But what if Ross and Rachel and Monica get lost?"  
  
"Oh yeah. Us getting lost is really going to help that," Phoebe said, matching Chandler's usual sarcasm with her own. "They probably realized tat they're not going to find us and went back to the campsite."  
  
"Hmm... maybe..."  
  
Darkness was slowly but all to steadily making itself known, and Chandler was beginning to have trouble seeing Phoebe in the gloom of the trees. They really did have to get back...  
  
Chandler could just imagine the scene when they got there. There would be a campfire—yes, a campfire—and the tents would be up and Ross and the two girls would be toasting marshmallows. Ross would greet him and say something like, "Where were you, dude?" And then he'd have some marshmallows—No, no, not marshmallows. They'd be making dinner. Somehow Chandler had forgotten dinner. But he was hungry.  
  
The path was going down now, and Chandler, lost in thought and ignoring the ground below him, tripped over a rock. He almost landed on Phoebe, but she caught him, saying "Watch you step, Chandler."  
  
And about a half and hour later, the path ended. It let out into the camping ground they had left from. Fires were blazing as people enjoyed the warm night, but the friends' campground was dark.  
  
No marshmallows, no dinner, no Ross or Rachel or Monica. The tents weren't even up yet. Chandler groaned.  
  
"Oh, I know," Phoebe agreed.  
  
"Maybe they're just not here yet!" Chandler exclaimed.  
  
"That seems a little obvious," Phoebe laughed.  
  
"No, I mean maybe they're coming and they're actually not lost at all!"  
  
"Probably," Phoebe said. "Do you know anything about setting up tents?"  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
"We are so totally lost," Rachel said, trying not to chew on a nail. Guys hated it when girls had chewed up nails.  
  
Monica and Ross just nodded. They were all tired and the trail seemed nowhere in sight. Even sight was becoming difficult as the darkness grew.  
  
"There's got to be something we can do!" Monica tried to be optimistic.  
  
"I know, I'll turn on my radar and find the path," Ross said in an annoyed tone. "Beep beep, there it is!"  
  
"I was serious." Monica eyed her brother, somewhat dissapointed that he had turned her serious statement into a joke, but Rachel laughed a little. Monica turned her gaze to her best friend.  
  
"Sorry, it was funny!" She could practically feel Ross smile. He loved it when she liked him.  
  
"Wait, I have an idea!" Ross said. "I'll use my radar—heh, heh, um, no" he got to the point when Monica glared again "We still have enough light that if I maybe climbed up a tree I could see the path."  
  
"That might work," Rachel said. Monica had to agree.  
  
"Or better yet," she said, we can each climb a tree and look in three different directions."  
  
Ross and Rachel agreed.  
  
"Just be careful."  
  
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Chandler was picking up firewood to cook his dinner while Phoebe tried to put up the tent. He began to carry a bundle of the wood back to the campsite.  
  
He was very surprised when a deep voice said, "Hey, how you doin'?"  
  
He turned to face whoever had spoken. The speaker, a semi-handsome guy of about Chandler's age, looked very surprised. His eyebrows shot up in astonishment.  
  
"Sorry, dude, in the dark I thought you were a chick."  
  
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Reviewer Replies (So many! Again! Thanks, people...)  
  
Iluvjoey4lyfe: Once again THANK YOU! :)  
  
Freezyboncoolipants: The UGH thing just seemed Phoebe-ish... glad you enjoyed. Keep reading!  
  
anonyme: Thanks. It looks like Joey has just entered the scene...  
  
Mal: AM I going to put any of them together as a couple? Probably... you'll just have to read and find out who it is, though! Please read more!  
  
lance: More Ross and Rachel is probably coming up... I could be a 'bit more raunchy', but I don't know if that really fits the geeky awkward high school Ross. But hey, Joey's here now...  
  
less than three: I updated again... more R&R in here, sort of... hope you enjoyed this chapter too!  
  
uranus: Glad you like this story... Agoin? I dunno... 


	6. Fall

Disclaimer: I obviously do not own Friends.  
  
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THE ONE WITH THE STORY ABOUT THE CAMPING TRIP  
  
Chapter Five: Fall  
  
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"You what?" Chandler said in disbelief as he stared at the guy who had just mistaken him for 'a chick.'  
  
"Well, it was dark, and you were holding the wood, you know, up there, and your shirt was puffing out and stuff... Sorry, dude. Try this again. Hi, I'm Joey Tribbiani, soon to be an actor."  
  
Chandler sighed. He could care less that 'Joey Tribbiani would soon be an actor'. He was more concerned with hoping no one would ever know that he'd been mistaken for a girl. There was no knowing what that could do to his already sadly dying social life and 'popularity.'  
  
"You gonna introduce yourself?" Joey asked.  
  
"I'm Chandler."  
  
"You're... Chandler?"  
  
Chandler nodded and gave Joey a sarcastic smile. "Yes, I'm Chandler."  
  
"Weird name, dude," Joey laughed. "So, you camping?"  
  
"No, I'm gathering wood to build a log cabin for me and my six pioneer children. You see, we left with a wagon train six months ago to start a farm, and..." he trailed off. No point in finishing that story.  
  
Joey seemed to be considering this. Then he shrugged. "Whatever. You alone?"  
  
Chandler almost told Joey that at the moment he wished he was, but Joey didn't seem to be trying to annoy him. It was just happening. "Nope."  
  
"Who're you with?" Joey asked.  
  
"At the moment, my friend's sister's friend. My friend is stuck in the woods with his sister and her other friend."  
  
Joey seemed to be trying to puzzle out exactly how everyone was related, and after a few seconds he smiled and nodded.  
  
"So," he said, "This friend's sister's friend hot?"  
  
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Monica squinted into the darkness from her perch in a tree. It hadn't been the easiest thing in the world to get up there, but she'd made it somehow. Wait! Was that a path? It looked like a break in the trees, and it was in the right direction.  
  
"I think I found something!" she called to Ross and Rachel, who were searching for the path from their respective trees. "I'm not sure, though," she said on second thought. It could be a path, or it could be a natural break in the trees. It was too dark to really tell.  
  
"Not sure?" Ross asked from somewhere to her left.  
  
Monica explained her misgivings to her brother and friend.  
  
"I'll use my radar to check," Ross said, laughing.  
  
"Getting old," Monica told him.  
  
"Okay, okay. Um, I'll come up and take a look."  
  
The only sound was of leaves rustling as Ross climbed down from his tree. Then: "Mon, I'm coming up your tree now."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Guys? It's getting kind of really dark," Rachel pointed out. "How far can you see?"  
  
"I guess we'll be finding out soon," Ross said. "I'm right below you now, Mon."  
  
"Okay, you see where I'm pointing?" Monica asked.  
  
"Not really. I'm coming up a little higher."  
  
Monica waited patiently as Ross came up the tree. His head was about level with her knees now. If he came up any higher they'd be sharing branches. And while Monica had lost some weight, she and Ross combined would probably break any thin high-up branch they shared.  
  
"Can you see now?" Monica asked.  
  
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"Can I at least meet her?" Joey pestered Chandler. "I mean, I might as well be the one to decide if she's hot or not. Because since I'm the one who cares, it should really be my opinion."  
  
Chandler sighed and with the air of someone hitting his head against something in frustration said, "No."  
  
"Well, it's not like you're going out with her! Wait... she doesn't have a boyfriend already, does she?"  
  
Chandler shook his head.  
  
"Then come on! Hey, how 'bout this. I help you two put up the tents if you introduce me to her. What did you say her name was?"  
  
"I didn't say it was anything, but it's Phoebe. And—I'll probably hate myself for this—you might as well come. As long as you help with the tents!"  
  
"Okaaay," Joey said happily.  
  
Chandler led the way back to the would-be-Geller campsite, still carrying the wood. It was getting heavy, especially after all of that standing around and talking to Joey. When they finally got to the campsite, Chandler dumped the wood onto the ground. The noise brought Phoebe out of a half- standing tent.  
  
"Hey Chandler," she said. Then she saw Joey. "Hello..."  
  
Joey turned to Chandler. "Excellent butt. Great rack," he whispered in a tone that Chandler hoped Phoebe couldn't hear.  
  
"Joey!" Chandler hissed. "Shut up!" he waved his arms around a little bit as if that would help him elaborate on his point. "She's—she's right there!"  
  
But Joey was ignoring him. "How you doin'?" he asked Phoebe. "I just met Chandler here and he said he had a real hot friend..."  
  
She giggled. Chandler rolled his eyes.  
  
"Thank you. I'm doing good, except that this tent doesn't like me," she said. "Maybe it likes you."  
  
"I know someone who likes you," Joey said. "And he's standing right in front of you..."  
  
Chandler picked up the wood and lugged it another few feet until he didn't have to hear Joey flirt with Phoebe. He wondered if the Girl's Tent would change into a Joey-and-Phoebe Tent. He'd find out soon enough.  
  
But that was supposing Ross, Monica, and Rachel didn't get back. But they had to! It would have been bad enough being here with just Phoebe... But Phoebe AND Joey? God no.  
  
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Rachel listened to Ross and Monica try to adjust themselves in the tree so that they could both see. See what, she wasn't sure. She could only guess from hearing the dialogue.  
  
"Is that it?" Ross asked.  
  
"What are you pointing at?"  
  
"That strip of trees!"  
  
"I didn't see trees, I saw no trees," Monica clarified.  
  
"Where did you do that? This is a forest!"  
  
"Exactly! No trees would mean a path or something!"  
  
"Is that—AHH!"  
  
"Ross!" both Monica and Rachel yelled at the same time. A sound of splintering wood rang through the air. It was too dark for Rachel to see what had happened, but it was easy enough to guess. Ross had fallen out of the tree.  
  
Monica and Rachel began to climb down from their trees. "Ross, are you okay?" Monica asked as her feet touched down on the ground. "What happened?"  
  
"Um, I don't know. I don't know again," Ross answered from the ground.  
  
"Can you get up?" Monica asked worriedly.  
  
"Yeah," Ross answered, but he didn't seem too sure of himself. "OW! No, no I can't!"  
  
"What's wrong?" Monica probed. "Where are you hurt?" Monica kneeled down next to her brother. He was sitting up, practically in a bush near the base of the tree. Well, at least he was sitting up.  
  
"Um, my foot, I think," Ross answered.  
  
"Let's get you out from that bush," Monica said. "Me and Rachel will grab your arms and pull you up on your good foot. You ready?"  
  
"Yeah," both Ross and Rachel answered.  
  
The girls pulled Ross up by the arms. He seemed lost as he stood between them balancing on his left foot.  
  
"Log over there," Rachel reported. "We can sit there."  
  
They hopped Ross over to the said log, where he sat down heavily.  
  
"So, Ross," Monica began. "What happened, exactly?"  
  
"Um, well, when I was trying to move up to see what you were talking about, you moved your foot and stepped on my hand. I had one hand off the tree because I was trying to climb up. So when I let go completely, um, I'm not sure what happened after that. All I know is that after that the branch I was on cracked and I fell, and it hurt. And here I am now." He laughed half- heartedly.  
  
"I'm sorry, Ross, I'm so sorry!" Monica said. "Is there anything I can do?"  
  
"Um," Ross began, "No." Then, a few moments later. "Monica, I'm not mad. Hug?"  
  
Monica smiled. She hugged her brother.  
  
"I think I'll join in," Rachel said. She wrapped arms around them both. "We'll get out of here somehow," she muttered.  
  
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A/N: For those of you waiting for pairings, wait just one more chapter... they should start emerging then...  
  
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Reviewer Replies  
  
Iluvjoey4lyfe: I thought that was like Ross too... then again, I wrote the thing, so I'd better. Um, thank you. Again.  
  
anonyme: I'll probably put M+C together eventually, I'm just taking my time at pairing anyone up. But it's coming soon, I promise! :) Glad you liked the Joey line.  
  
uranus: Like I said, Monica and Chandler will probably end up together eventually, I'm just being slow about it. Soon, though! And yep, Joey's here! :)  
  
chan-chan-man: Um... ff.net is a place to post the stuff YOU write... that's all. Um, glad you like it. Chandler's one of my favorites too. 


	7. Marshmallows

Disclaimer: Oh, yeah, I own Friends. Isn't this kind of pointless?  
  
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THE ONE WITH THE STORY ABOUT THE CAMPING TRIP  
  
Chapter Six: Marshmallows  
  
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["Wait a minute," Ross said, stopping his story-telling. "Joey, I thought you didn't know us then."  
  
"I thought so too," Joey said, considering this. "But I guess I forgot that I met you on that trip. You were all so... different. And anyway, it's confusing. I've camped so many times with Chandler."  
  
"But Chandler and Phoebe, how did you guys forget?" Rachel asked.  
  
"Uh... I think I was confusing this with another camping trip the three of us took," Chandler said. "But telling this story kind of brought everything back. Yeah. Anyway..." ]  
  
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Chandler made his way back to the tents after a few vain attempts at creating fire. How the hell had primitive man done it? Chandler was struggling and he had matches as well as the knowledge of man in the 80's. Heck, it was going to be the next millennium in a few years.  
  
Did you just think 'heck?' Chandler's mind asked him. What kind of a loser ARE you?  
  
Anyway, he was amazed to see that Joey and Phoebe were not quite to the point of 'enjoying themselves' in the tent, but he'd only been away a little while. It probably wouldn't be long, though. They were already in an embrace and gazing at each other.  
  
"Sorry to interrupt your fun," Chandler said, "But I think I need some help."  
  
"No you don't," Joey told him. "We're busy."  
  
"No, you're not," Chandler informed the two. "I, however, am hungry, and would prefer not to eat my hot dogs raw."  
  
Joey gave Phoebe an I'll-be-right-back look and followed Chandler to the scene of no fire.  
  
"Well," Joey said as they approached Chandler's attempt at fire, "I don't know about your hot dogs, but I'd been planning to show mine to Phoebe tonight..."  
  
"No! No, no," Chandler said. "No. I did NOT need to know that!"  
  
"All I'm saying is that I want to do this quickly. You got matches?"  
  
Chandler handed them to Joey, still looking at him in disgust. How did he manage to get landed with people like this? At least once this camping trip from hell was done he'd never have to see Joey again.  
  
Joey set about making a fire. "So where do you live?" he asked.  
  
"NYC, the Big Apple, you know."  
  
"Dude! I'm gonna be moving there sometime soon! I'll look for Chandler, heh?"  
  
"Heh," Chandler agreed. Luckily Joey would never find him in a city that big.  
  
Suddenly the fire roared up. "There we go," Joey said. "I've got Phoebe waiting for—well, she's waiting. Have fun with your hot dogs!"  
  
Chandler had planned to cook a hot dog but after Joey's original hot dog comment the option no longer seemed too appetizing. They really hadn't brought much else, though. There were hamburgers, which would be a pain to cook as Chandler didn't want to have to go seek out a barbecue, but other than that and the hot dogs, they had nothing.  
  
No, not nothing, Chandler realized. They had marshmallows, chocolate, and gram crackers. He would have s'mores for dinner.  
  
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"So... what now?" Rachel asked. The three of them were all sitting on Ross' log, staring out into the darkness. There was no way that they could keep going now—it was completely dark out, and even in the light Ross' foot or ankle or whatever would prevent them from really traveling.  
  
"I don't know," Monica said miserably.  
  
They sat in silence a little longer. Rachel played with her hair a bit, but it was really too dark for anything to matter. Then Ross asked: "Is anyone else hungry?"  
  
"Yeah..." Monica paused. "Wait! I think I've got some granola bars!" She stood up to fish around in her pockets. Her shape was only dimly visible in the nearly total darkness.  
  
"You got anything, Mon?" Rachel asked.  
  
"Yeah, yes, I do!" she held two somewhat squished granola bars triumphantly. "But," she said softly, as if it would make the news better, "I've only got two."  
  
Another silence settled as it became apparent that someone would have to give up their meal. No one wanted to volunteer, it seemed. Until, "Someone can have mine," Monica said.  
  
"Thanks, Mon, love you," Rachel said. Her stomach had been growling, loud enough to hear, and she guessed that Ross and Monica's had been too.  
  
"Yeah, thanks," Ross echoed.  
  
Monica handed the granola bars to her best friend and brother. But she couldn't bear sitting and listening to the chewing noises. She was too hungry. Finally she couldn't stand it. "I'm going to see if what I saw before WAS a path. You know, scout out the way," she told Ross and Rachel.  
  
"Good idea," Ross said. This time it was Rachel who echoed him.  
  
"So... I should be back soon," she said. She left, disappearing into the darkness.  
  
"Awkward..." Ross said after Monica had been gone a few seconds. He had nothing to say to Rachel, or really he lots of things to say that he really couldn't say and damn his foot hurt. And thoughts were really all over the place. Maybe he should tell Rachel how much he liked her. But that was stupid. Or maybe it wasn't. And his thoughts were wandering again, and Rachel still hadn't said anything...  
  
"Do you think Monica'll find that path thingy?" Rachel asked.  
  
"Maybe." Still awkward. And, ow!  
  
"I hope so, don't you?"  
  
"Yeah, I do." Think, Ross... does she have a boyfriend? She'd been going out with Chip, but from what Monica had said she seemed to break up with him a lot. So there was a chance—Oh, what was he thinking. The pain must be messing with his mind, he decided.  
  
They lapsed into silence again.  
  
At least, Ross thought, if I were to say something now I'd have an excuse. I'm not thinking clearly, so she won't hold it against me or something. I'm tired too.  
  
"Hey, Rach," he said.  
  
"Hi, Ross."  
  
"Um, I know I'm kind of confused right now—No, not confused, scratch that, but I mean, um... Anyway, um, yeah." Not going very well.  
  
"Do you have a point?"  
  
"Um, yeah." Ross laughed nervously. "Um, you're really pretty."  
  
Ross waited for a reply, completely appalled by what he'd done. She'd never even look at him again, ever. This was really bad.  
  
"Uh... thank you, I guess," Rachel said.  
  
"I'm sorry, but my foot hurts and that's making me say things I really shouldn't," Ross babbled.  
  
"You know what?" Rachel said. She got up and moved along the log until she was sitting right next to Ross. "You can be cute sometimes."  
  
"What? Heh, heh, really? Um, I should stop talking now. Because I'm saying stupid things."  
  
So am I, Rachel thought. She had a boyfriend, and... and this was Ross! Ew. But she and Chip had sort of hit a rut—was that the expression?—in their relationship. And when that happened, Rachel started looking at other guys. (Like later, with Barry). In this case, Ross. Monica's geeky older brother—ew, again.  
  
They wouldn't have to tell anyone.  
  
There must be something seriously wrong with her, Rachel decided. But it was dark, and they were alone—Again, ew. Or maybe not. He WAS sort of cute. And he was nice, and he was helpful—like when she'd almost fallen in the stream. He'd helped her, probably without even meaning to. And he liked her, too.  
  
Rachel hadn't said anything in quite some, and Ross was getting nervous. His mind was clearing, a little, anyway, and he couldn't believe himself. He knew Rachel didn't like him at all. What had he hoped to accomplish? Well, at least he did have an excuse.  
  
"Ross," Rachel said.  
  
Ah, yes, conversation. Hopefully she would ignore everything he'd just said. Just keep talking, about something... Anything...  
  
"You like me, don't you," Rachel continued.  
  
Or maybe she wouldn't.  
  
"Um, yeah, I mean, I don't mean anything, but y'know..." Why did he always have to get so nervous talking to any girl but Monica? And she didn't count.  
  
"I know what you mean," Rachel said. She slid farther along the log until she was pressed up against Ross. She put her head on his shoulder.  
  
Oh, god, she was insane. But what the hell. "Ross, would you wanna... kiss me?"  
  
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Hope that wasn't too unbelievable... Please review and let me know...  
  
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Reviewer Replies  
  
Friendsfan2000 – Thank you for reviewing MY story... glad you like it...  
  
saRa – I tried to clear that up in this chapter, thanks for pointing it out. Please keep reading...  
  
higherbeingfriendsfan – They're staring to get paired off now... All that's left are Chandler and Monica... hm...  
  
uranus – Thanks...  
  
anonyme – Monica, Ross, and Rachel should get home eventually... be a little weird if they didn't... Anyway, keep reading.  
  
Iluvjoey4lyfe – Wow! Thank you! Lots of exclamation points!  
  
Freezyboncoolipants – Yay! A review! *does a happy dance* 


	8. This Couldn't be Real

Disclaimer: Friends still is not mine/ Though I'm wanting it more/ Friends still is not mine/ And it wasn't before/ Friends still is not mine/ maybe it belongs to yooooouuu...  
  
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A/N: I don't know much about the eighties, not having been alive yet, so if there's anything I might want to add or change... please let me know!  
  
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THE ONE WITH THE STORY ABOUT THE CAMPING TRIP  
  
Chapter Seven: This Couldn't Be Real  
  
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Chandler was fretting as he stuffed gram crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate into his mouth. Ross, Monica, and Rachel still weren't back yet. They must be really lost. They might even have to spend the night in the woods. But what if they never came back? Would someone find their bodies rotting in the forest two weeks from now.  
  
Okay, calm down, Chandler told himself. No one was rotting. No one was dead. They were just a little lost. Maybe they'd have to camp out under the stars. It couldn't be all that bad.  
  
Suddenly he heard Joey's voice from the tent.  
  
"Come on, Phoebe. Why not?"  
  
"Bad vibes in this forest right now," Phoebe answered.  
  
Chandler wasn't quite sure what Joey wanted to do (though he had a very good guess), but the thought of Phoebe turning him down because of some "bad vibes" was pretty funny. Meanwhile the argument continued.  
  
"Who cares about the bad vibes! Let's make some good ones!"  
  
Joey probably didn't know how loud he was, but Chandler was fairly sure everyone at the campsite was getting an insight into the lives of Joey and Phoebe. He smiled at the thought. Maybe he should tell them. But, no, why bother. This wasn't his problem.  
  
But he did have a problem. His friend was missing. And he wasn't doing anything about it. But he couldn't just go off into the dark woods by himself!  
  
Now there was a thought. He couldn't go all by himself, but maybe he could get Joey to help him.  
  
"Okay, the vibes are getting better," he heard Phoebe say.  
  
"Oh, yeah, baby," Joey replied.  
  
Okay, help from Joey could probably be ruled out.  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
This was unbelievable. Unreal. Ross had nothing to say. He'd dreamed about this for ages--since what, ninth grade?--but now... nothing to say. This was dreamlike. Couldn't be real. Yes, that was it. Not real.  
  
"You—you're messing with me, aren't you," he accused. Because there was no way that she actually liked him. This must be yet another form of geek- bashing.  
  
"No, no, I'm not," Rachel said. She sounded sincere, but there was no way of knowing. He'd say yeah, sure, kiss me, and then she'd laugh and then all of Lincoln High would know and he's be tortured until he went to college.  
  
"Um, no, don't," he said. "Don't kiss me." I don't know what you're doing, but I won't let you ruin my life.  
  
"Oh," Rachel said rather offhandedly. "Why not?"  
  
"Because, um, because... because you can't be serious. I mean..." Ross trailed off. His reason sounded stupid out loud. She was practically begging him!  
  
"I though you liked me," Rachel said.  
  
"I do, but... but I know you'll make me make a fool of myself."  
  
Rachel said nothing. Ross had no idea what was going on in her mind... Was she trying to figure out how to salvage the trick? Probably. But it was too tempting. Rachel actually wanted a kiss. Or did she?  
  
Monica had better come back soon and put an end to this. Wow, that thought had been unexpected. Since when did he want MONICA to break something up between HIM and RACHEL?  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
Monica carefully picked her way through the brush, over logs, and around dips in the ground. She kept going in a straight line. She was very careful about this; she didn't want to get lost on her own.  
  
She hadn't found anything yet, but it was hard to gauge distance in the dark. There could still be a path up ahead. And if there was a path, they would be able to find the campsite. Traveling would be much easier too, especially for Ross. He probably wouldn't be able to pick his way through the underbrush as well as she could. She'd have to see how he was doing when the morning came around.  
  
But that brought up an interesting problem, one she'd known about but not really thought about. They would have to spend the night in the woods. They had no sleeping bags, no tents, no blankets, nothing. It would be cold and uncomfortable. But it was the only choice. They couldn't keep going tonight!  
  
But they could sleep here! They had to be at the campsite! Would Phoebe and Chandler just wait there the whole night, hoping that they would come back, or would they call the Gellers and the Greenes and tell them that their children were missing in the forest? Was there a phone on the campsite? And if they did call, would their families send out search parties or call the police or the fire department to scour the woods in hopes of finding their lost loved ones?  
  
Monica paused a moment to take a deep breath. If anything, she had to stay calm. She couldn't freak out, and she had obviously been doing just that, and it really hadn't done her any good. She had to think logically about this.  
  
Logically... Well, she was probably in control of the little lost group. It sounded funny, but Ross was basically out of commission and Rachel was, well, Rachel. Chandler and Phoebe were back at the campsite, probably worrying about them.  
  
There. That was a start to the logical thinking.  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
It seemed that once again the vibes were bad. Joey complained loudly about it in the tent, but Phoebe was firm.  
  
"No," she said. "Nothing while the vibes are bad. The forest is calling. Let's go."  
  
Joey complained a little bit more, but there was nothing he could do. The forest's stupid bad vibes were ruining the night. They hadn't even done anything yet but make out. He put on his best pouty expression and emerged from the tent. Sometimes the pouty expression worked... but Phoebe seemed pretty fixed in her believe that the forest was giving out bad vibes or something and it would be impossible to do stuff.  
  
He followed Phoebe over to Chandler's lonely campfire, where he was sitting and eating s'mores.  
  
"Bad vibes, huh," he said.  
  
"How—how did you know?" Phoebe asked.  
  
"You were loud, both of you. But we've got a problem bigger than your stupid vibes to deal with! Ross and Monica and Rachel are gone!" Chandler exclaimed.  
  
"Exactly," Phoebe said with annoying patience, "THAT is why the vibes are bad."  
  
"Well, you coulda told me that!" Joey exclaimed. "'Cause I'll help you find them if it'll make the, uh, vibes better."  
  
"You will?" Chandler asked.  
  
"I need some good vibes, heh." Joey nodded and smiled his trademark Joey- smile.  
  
"Okay, ANYWAY, we should start looking now, maybe along the path?" Chandler suggested. "They might be nearby. Okay, do we have a flashlight? C'mon! Grab flashlights!" So maybe he was a bit over-enthusiastic, but it felt nice to finally be doing something after sitting and worrying and eating s'mores it felt nice to actually be doing something.  
  
Phoebe disappeared into her tent to retrieve a flashlight, and Joey hurried back to his campsite to do the same. In a matter of minutes they were back, and looking at Chandler expectantly.  
  
"So, dude, now what?" Joey asked.  
  
"To the path!" he exclaimed.  
  
"Okay, now you're scaring me," Joey muttered as they rapidly made their way to the path, their flashlight beams lancing out into the darkness.  
  
It was a bit too dark in Chandler's opinion. He could see nothing but what was in the glimmer of his flashlight, and al around were spooky night- noises that probably belonged to animals but shouldn't exist except on Halloween.  
  
Something small flitted across the path in front of Chandler. "Bah!" he yelled, jumping back into Joey. But whatever had been there was gone now. It had probably been a squirrel or something. Must have been.  
  
He resumed his walking, but now his heart was thumping. That had been nothing but it had really startled him. What if next time it was something, though? What was the name of this place? Bear Mountains? What if next time it was a bear?  
  
He pointed this out to Joey and Phoebe. After all, if he was going to be terrified, they might as well be scared too.  
  
"Oh yeah," Phoebe said, "I forgot about that. Hey, I wonder if I can talk to bears!"  
  
"Just don't get yourself eaten, we've got a lot to do tonight," Joey said. Chandler agreed before he realized that he and Joey were talking about completely different things. He wanted to find Ross, and Joey, well, Joey wanted to do other things.  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
Rachel knew she shouldn't be arguing. After all, she really shouldn't want to kiss Ross. But something in her was rebelling against whatever part of her mind was sensible.  
  
"I swear, I'm not trying to play a trick! Really!"  
  
"No," Ross said, though it seemed to be painful for him. He liked her after all. Or maybe it was his foot/ankle. Who knew? It was beside the point.  
  
"I won't even tell Chip!" she exclaimed.  
  
"What, you were going to tell him before?" Ross asked skeptically. "Look, if any of your friends found out about this, they'd beat me up. You see, I don't like getting beat up."  
  
"No, no, I wasn't. Please? Please let me kiss you," Rachel pleaded.  
  
"Yeah right... again."  
  
"Oh, shut up," Rachel said. She grabbed his head and kissed him.  
  
So maybe it was stupid. So maybe it was pointless. But it sure felt good.  
  
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Please review!  
  
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Reviewer Replies  
  
Emma – Thank you. Uh, here's the next part. Please read on.  
  
saRa – Yes, you're nice like that... :)  
  
anonyme – Heh. Writing Chandler is fun... glad you like it.  
  
higherbeingfriendsfan – M&C might get pair off soon... I dunno... I have to see where the story goes... It might be heading that way... you'll have to wait and see...  
  
Friendsfan2000 – Glad you like Joey and Chandler—they're fun to write...  
  
Freezyboncoolipants – I never used to think it was strange to reply to reviewers... no one in the Friends section seems to do it, though. Glad you like it... (I use way too many ...'s) 


	9. Monica the Bear

Disclaimer: If you own Friends, feel free to give it to me. Because, unfortunately, I do not own it.  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
THE ONE WITH THE STORY ABOUT THE CAMPING TRIP  
  
Chapter Eight: Monica the Bear  
  
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Ross almost pulled away. But he managed not to do such a stupid thing. This was Rachel. Rachel! He'd been wanting this since ninth grade. And here he was, almost pulling away.  
  
His mind was swimming. But somehow, somehow he managed to just sink into the kiss. Rachel moved more on top of him, and this time he did pull away.  
  
"What? What is it?" Rachel asked breathlessly. "I mean, I'm sorry, I mean..."  
  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you just hit my foot, that's all," Ross said.  
  
"Oh. Sorry," Rachel said awkwardly.  
  
The uncomfortable silence took hold again. Rachel settled back into her old position on the log. She was still so—what was she?—almost in shock, but a good kind of shock. She'd actually kissed Ross. Already the moment seemed to be fading away, leaving her to wonder whether or not it had actually happened. But it had, hadn't it?  
  
Well, there was one way to find out.  
  
"Ross, let's do that again," Rachel said. She wondered if he would resist again.  
  
"Uh... uh... okay," Ross said.  
  
So they did.  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
"You know, I really think I can talk to bears," Phoebe said. "Yeah. There was this squirrel I talked to once. But then an owl ate him. It was terrible."  
  
"Hmm," Chandler agreed offhandedly. He was scanning the path for movement. For bears.  
  
Something cawed loudly and then Chandler felt something latch onto his shirt. "Bah!" he yelled, batting at the thing. But it was only Joey's hand. He'd grabbed Chandler in fear at the noise.  
  
Chandler pushed his hand away and took a deep breath. This was terrifying. He wanted to go back to his s'mores.  
  
"Guys, let's just be quiet," Phoebe suggested. Chandler wasn't quite sure of her reasoning, but he didn't see the harm in going along with it.  
  
And maybe bears were attracted to noise...  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
Monica shoved her way through the brush. As the leader of the group, she would need some sort of plan. If she found the path, then it would be easy to go back to the campsite. Or, even better, they could wait until someone came hiking along the path and found them, because Monica wasn't sure if Ross was up to a lot of walking. Or, even even better, once they found the path she or Rachel—no, not Rachel-- could go and get help and then everything would be fine.  
  
Monica smiled. And it would be easy to find her way back to Ross and Rachel, because in the dark she'd crashed through a lot of bushes and in that way marked her trail.  
  
Whoops, that was another bush. Oh well.  
  
And to think she'd been panicking before. This would be fine. Fine!  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
"I still don't see them," Chandler whispered. Phoebe snorted. Yeah. That was obvious.  
  
Phoebe just wanted to find them so that the bad vibes would go away. She wasn't too concerned about Monica, Rachel, and Ross having to spend a night out in the woods. She'd spent plenty of nights outside when she'd been living on the streets. It hadn't hurt her. Nope, she just wanted to get back to Joey and the tent without having to bother with any stupid vibes. They made everything so loopy.  
  
"Hey, do you hear that?" Joey asked nervously.  
  
"Hear what?" Phoebe said, a little bit annoyed that no one was going along with her no-talking plan.  
  
"Something's crashing," Joey said. Phoebe could hear the terror in his voice.  
  
"Crashing?" Chandler asked, sounding just as alarmed as Joey.  
  
"Yeah... Like a bear crashing through the bushes."  
  
Chandler stopped cold in his tracks. Phoebe nearly banged into him. "Oh hurry up," she said. "I want to talk to the bears."  
  
"No, no, let's just be quiet," Chandler said. "No talking."  
  
"Well OKAY," Phoebe huffed. "Now you do that..."  
  
They moved cautiously and quietly along the path now, the flashlight beam trained on the ground before then, hardly any light in the dark. They saw nothing, but the crashing noises had made Chandler's heart pound with fear. What if there was a bear? They really shouldn't be out now. They'd never find Ross and Monica and Rachel. They couldn't even see the bear.  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
Monica continued to crash her way through the thick underbrush in search of the path. It should be close. It wouldn't be that hard to see either, because her eyes had almost completely adjusted to the gloom. She wondered what Ross and Rachel were doing now. Probably sitting awkwardly with nothing to say. Or rather, Ross would be trying to say things and end up talking about ancient sewage systems or something equally boring and disgusting.  
  
Monica smiled a little. Ross was so funny like that. And Rachel... Rachel would sit there being prissy and annoyed at Ross. Rachel was like that.  
  
Suddenly Monica's toe made contact with a large rock sticking up in her path. She tripped and stumbled, nearly hitting a tree. "Oww," she moaned, running into another bush.  
  
She would be fine, of course, but that damn rock had hurt!  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
Something growled with a sound that almost sounded like a moan. Then another crash sounded through the forest. That was the last straw for Joey.  
  
"I'm outta here!" he exclaimed. Maybe it was a bear, maybe it wasn't... Joey didn't want to hang around to find out.  
  
"No, no, wait," Chandler protested bravely. That had sounded more like a person moaning than a bear, but this was Bear Mountain and it was dark and scary out. But Joey had already started back in the direction of the camp. Phoebe was following him, and Chandler did not want to be stuck out here in this possibly bear-infested forest alone. So he too ran after Joey.  
  
They'd just have to find the others tomorrow in the light.  
  
And, Joey reasoned with himself as he ran for his life, it wasn't bad for him to be that scared of the forest. He was, after a city-boy. This wasn't his natural habitat. He belonged in a place with a lot of concrete. And no spooky night noises. Or bears.  
  
He kept running.  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
Monica almost hear something moving or running, but she wasn't sure. It didn't matter, anyway. She'd finally found the path. Grinning broadly, she turned around and started back to Ross and Rachel. They were going to make it out fine, and all because of her! She'd saved them.  
  
Hey, maybe as a reward Ross would do her share of the dishes for a week or two. But no, he was hurt, so he would be fawned upon by her parents and treated like a wounded soldier.  
  
That sobered Monica up a bit. And there was still the problem of getting Ross and Rachel to the path, then figuring out which path it was, and where the campsite was. But this was a start. Yes, this was definitely a start.  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
"Ow. Ow! Don't go on top of me!" Ross exclaimed. He had been kissing Rachel again—that had been nice—but then she'd kicked his foot again. The original pain of the injury had been kind of overridden by the fact that Rachel actually wanted to make out with him, but now it was starting to come back. And instead of making him confused and lost, as it had before, it was making him irritable.  
  
"Oh, sorry," Rachel said. "Again?"  
  
"Yeah. But hang on. Just hang on a second! That hurt a lot!"  
  
"What we're doing is really, really stupid, isn't it," Rachel said. It wasn't a question. "I mean, I've got a boyfriend, and you're... Ross. Ooh, that didn't come out right."  
  
"No, no, it didn't. But we can't... we can't tell anyone we did this! I'd get killed! And I think I've been killed enough for the day!" Ross exclaimed.  
  
"Okay. You're right. You're absolutely right. So what do we do now?" Rachel asked.  
  
"I don't know. Pretend we never did anything?"  
  
"Guess so."  
  
There was another awkward silence. What had he been thinking? Ross wondered. He couldn't just make out with Rachel and expect anything to work out. She already had a boyfriend, and even if she hadn't, he was Ross, extraordinarily unpopular, not fit for Rachel, the queen of popularity. At least to everyone else in the school. He had no idea what Rachel thought. But even that didn't matter. If anything was to happen between them, Rachel's popularity group would become jealous of angry or whatever, and would start to hate her, which would make her resent him for taking her away from them. And of course, they would kill him.  
  
Why did everything have to be so confusing? And why did his foot have to throb like this? He cupped his chin in his hands and stared out into the dark. The forest offered no answers.  
  
It did, however, offer Monica, who chose that moment to burst into their clearing.  
  
"I found the path! I found the path!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Oh, great!" Rachel said. Ross couldn't hear anything in her voice that suggested anything out of the ordinary. Ross knew that he would be acting a little strange for the rest of the night. But hey, he could blame it on his foot.  
  
"How far?" Rachel was asking.  
  
"It's not bad," Monica said. "I don't know what the path is, really, or which one, or how far from the campsite, but we can deal with that tomorrow."  
  
"Yeah, tomorrow," Rachel agreed. "Wait... so we're actually, like, sleeping out here in the woods?"  
  
"Do we have another choice?" Monica asked. "Unless you want to go out there in the dark and try to carry Ross through the forest without a path."  
  
"I don't need to be CARRIED—"Ross protested, but the girls ignored him.  
  
So where do we sleep then?" Rachel asked. "On the ground?"  
  
"Would you rather sleep in a tree?" Monica asked impatiently. "Come on, this is fun! It's an adventure!" She might as well look at the bright side.  
  
"Some adventure," Ross said in his best depressed tone. Monica rolled her eyes, though of course neither Ross nor Rachel could see.  
  
"Well, then," Monica clapped her hands together. The other's jumped. "How are we gone sleep?"  
  
"Outside, on the ground. You just told us that," Rachel said.  
  
"I meant does anyone have a jacket or anything that could be used as a blanket, or a flashlight or something?" Monica asked.  
  
"If I had a flashlight, I think I would have given it to you," Ross said. "But yeah, I do have a jacket."  
  
Monica nodded. "Hmm, good... Anyone else?"  
  
"It's just me, but no. Nothing."  
  
"We could all cuddle under my blanket," Ross suggested. Monica waited for Rachel to scoff at the idea of sleeping so close to Ross, but surprisingly enough she offered no argument.  
  
Maybe they hadn't just sat in awkward silence the whole time she had been gone...  
  
But what else could they have done? This was Ross and Rachel, after all.  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
Reviewer Replies (Sorry everybody it's been forever since I updated last...)  
  
iluvjoey4lyfe – The finale really was great... It was hard to believe Friends is over. Oh well. We've got... reruns!  
  
Freezyboncoolipants – Still very happy you like it... Oh, I haven't really updated in a while, have I. A soggy! (I'm sorry!)  
  
qwerty – Hmm... Maybe Chandler and Monica have a fling... you'll just have to read and find out!  
  
saRa – Fretting IS a cool word... Again, I'm very glad you like the story...  
  
Emma – Hope things are still good... :) I know I can't believe Friends is over. But again, we've got reruns and DVD's! 


	10. The Morning

Disclaimer: I took quizzes and I'm Ross! But no, I don't own Friends.

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A/N: Sorry about the lack of updates... my muse took a vacation and left me plotless for a few weeks. But I'm back. Enjoy chapter nine.

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THE ONE WITH THE STORY ABOUT THE CAMPING TRIP

Chapter Nine: The Morning

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Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe made it to the campsite without being eaten by anything. Nothing jumped out to scare them. No bear sounds had been heard. Phoebe and Joey disappeared into the tent again, leaving Chandler to his lone campfire. He managed to get himself completely full of s'mores and now all he could do was sit back and wait.

Wait for what? he wondered. It's not like they're going to come back now, at this time of the night. And if they did, it wouldn't matter whether he was in the tent or not.

He was bored. He almost couldn't believe it, that in the midst of all this worry and all these problems that he would be bored, but there was no doubt about it. He was bored.

He sat back to do nothing in a different position.

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"So, do we just sleep on the leaves?" Rachel wanted to know.

"Do we have another choice?" Monica asked. "Unless you feel like sleeping in a tree."

"Leaves are fine," Rachel grumbled. At least they'd have Ross' jacket.

After a bit of fussing they were all squished together under the coat. It wasn't particularly comfortable, Rachel decided, but it could be worse. The leaves were soft, if a little damp, and it was warm enough with the combination of friends and jacket. And snuggling against Ross was nice.

Here come the stupid thoughts again.

No one said anything and Rachel listened to the quiet breathing of Monica and Ross and the kind of scary noises coming from all around her. There must be lots of bugs and animals and...things in the woods.

But eventually she fell asleep, her head on Ross' chest.

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Joey had almost decided to give up. Phoebe was impossible. He'd been so close—SO close—to doing it with her when all of a sudden she'd starting putting her clothes back on and sticking her head out of the tent.

"What now?" he asked.

"Oh. Um, Chandler's coming back."

"How'd you know? I don't hear anything."

"I just know. You know?"

"No."

But she refused to do anything else.

"Okay, I'll wait," Joey finally said. And then Chandler didn't show up. He waited a whole five minutes before trying to bother Phoebe again. But she still refused. "Dammit," he muttered..

And then Chandler poked his head in the tent flap. Joey jumped. Had Phoebe been right?

"Hello, children," Chandler greeted them.

"Hi."

"Hello."

"Well," Chandler began, "I'm off to bed, and since it looks like you guys didn't pitch the other tent, I have to join you. So no... doing stuff."

"Dammit!" Joey said again.

"You can take it out into the woods if you want," Chandler said. "But you might want to keep the bear in mind."

"No," Phoebe said.

"No...?"

"No, we're just going to go to sleep. Alone. Sorry, Joey."

Joey swore again. This sucked.

"Um, you can use our tent if you want, though," Phoebe added.

Since Joey didn't really want to get up, he agreed. Even though it still sucked.

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Ross was not happy when he woke up. The first thing he was aware of was the dew. It covered everything in a damp layer, and made him cold. The second thing he noticed was the fact that his foot still really hurt.

And then felt Rachel cuddled up against his chest. So maybe this wasn't that bad after all...He shifted his head so it was touching Rachel's. Her hair smelled nice. He closed his eyes again, but now he really had to use a bathroom. Or, since he was in the middle of nowhere, a bush somewhere the girls couldn't see him.

He managed to get out from under his jacket by half crawling, half wiggling across the ground. Rachel and Monica stirred, but didn't wake up. He pulled himself up with a small tree and took one step before his foot hurt so much he fell over with a loud crash and a yell.

Monica jerked awake at the noise. "Oh my God! What's happening? Ross!"

"I—I fell over," he said weakly. "I had to pee, and—"

"Ross, don't care, just need to know—are you okay?" Monica asked.

"Well, about as okay as I was before," Ross answered. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, leaning up against the tree, and looked at Monica. She was worried. He really didn't look too good.

"What going on?" Rachel asked suddenly, still groggy. Apparently she'd just awakened.

"Ross fell," Monica said shortly. "But he's okay."

"From another tree?"

"No, no, just from standing," Ross said. "So how are we going to get out of here?"

"I found the path, remember?" Monica said, pointing in the direction of their only hope, "We're gonna get over to it, then either we'll follow it, wait for someone to find us, or send someone out to follow it and bring back help."

Ross sighed. "I know THAT. I just mean... if I can't really stand, how am I supposed to walk?"

The girls exchanged glances. "We'll carry you," Monica said. After all, they were still close in size. And with Rachel's help...well, they could at least half drag him through the woods.

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Oh God. It was morning, and they still hadn't shown up. Chandler awoke to these thoughts, sitting bolt upright in his sleeping bag. He eased down a bit when he realized that maybe they had come back, and were using the other tent. He crawled out from the warm confines of his sleeping bag and unzipped the tent.

He blinked in the bright sunlight, but he had enough vision to tell him what he needed to know. No Ross. No Monica. No Rachel. The second tent still lay in a small heap a few feet away. He sighed dejectedly and stooped to crawl back into the tent that was actually standing.

This movement woke Phoebe up, and since Joey was pretty much curled around her, he woke up too.

"Happy new year!" Phoebe shouted.

Chandler made a face. "What?"

"Oh, I've just always wanted to say that. So are they back yet?"

"No. No, they're not. Hey, do you know if they have a phone anywhere no this campsite?"

Phoebe and Joey shrugged. "I don't think so," Joey said.

"Then maybe we should go looking for them again..?" Chandler suggested.

-----------------

"Guys, I'll be right back," Monica said. "I have to use the bathroom."

"'Kay," Rachel said offhandedly. She watched Monica walk away and out of sight. "Hey, you," she said to Ross.

"Hi..." Ross replied hesitantly.

"So... last night... that was pretty good, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, yeah, I guess so," Ross said.

"Wanna do it one more time?"

"Um... I don't think we sh—okay."

Rachel kneeled down to where Ross still sat on the leaf-strewn ground. "I guess this'll have to be the last time," she said.

"So let's not waste it."

Her lips found his and they sunk into the kiss. It was more than pretty good. Then the sounds of Monica's footsteps crashing through the dead leaves and underbrush interrupted them. The next time they kissed would be ten years later.

"You guys ready?" Monica asked.

Ross nodded numbly. It was still hard to believe he'd just been making out with Rachel. He searched Rachel's face to see if there was any hint of his feelings in her. Was she as amazed by this as he was?

Of course not, he told himself. She hasn't liked me since the ninth grade. This is nothing to her. She'll go right back to Chip as soon as we go home. I'm nothing.

Well, he added mentally with a twist of irony, there's a happy thought to start this day with.

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Review... please?


	11. Maybe Not So Lost?

Disclaimer: P as in pheebee, H as in heebee, O as in obee, E as in eebee, B as in beebee, and E as 'Ey! I don't own Friends!

(Okay, so it's E as in 'Ello, mate! So sue me. You'll get nothing.)

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THE ONE WITH THE STORY ABOUT THE CAMPING TRIP

Chapter Ten: Maybe Not So Lost?

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"So, what are we going to do?" Ross frowned, staring up at the girls. God, his foot hurt. It was throbbing like someone had stuck an extra, really painful heart in it.

"I could go walk along the path and look for people," Monica suggested.

"But do we really want to be split up?" Rachel asked. "If you couldn't find us later, or something... well, that would suck."

"Good point," Monica said, biting her lip, "I mean, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get lost, but you never know. Next idea?"

"I'll try to walk out to the path with you guys," Ross said hesitantly. What are you _doing_? he mentally questioned himself. Are you stupid, you can't even stand, and now you're going to hike? Yes, you're stupid.

"Are you sure, Ross?" Monica asked.

Ross shrugged. Stupid, stupid, stupid. "I guess so... that's the only way we won't get split up, right?"

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"Here we come, to save the day," Phoebe said in a singsong voice. She could see how much it annoyed Chandler, especially when he was in this floopy nervous mood, so she sang the phrase every few minutes. Or seconds. "Here we come—"

"Will you just... shut... up...?" Chandler said.

"Nah," Phoebe shrugged, as if he'd actually been asking the question, not begging for silence.

They were walking on the same path as they'd tread last night. It didn't seem nearly as scary in the bright daylight. And the squirrel that ran across the path no longer resembled a bear, even if Chandler had had nearly jumped into Joey's arms when it crossed.

"Guys," Joey said, "I have just one question. Do you actually think you're going to find them?"

"Well," Chandler countered unsuccessfully, "I—I want to."

"But really. What are the chances they're just going to be hanging out on this path?"

"Hey, Joey," Chandler said.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

"Here we come, to save the daaay!" Phoebe sang again. Chandler buried his head in his hands (he had to look up, though, when he nearly ran into a tree) and Phoebe smiled. This was just so much fun!

-----------------

Step. "Ow." Step. "Ow." Step. "Ow."

"Ross, do you _want_ to stop? We could do something else, you know," Monica said. Maybe she was too worried about Ross, but he was moaning every step of the way. Literally. And they'd only been walking for about ten minutes or so. She didn't own a watch at the moment, and Ross had lost his the day before.

"How much longer?" Ross asked. He was leaning most of his weight on Monica, but she bore it stoically. Of course, they were still about the same size, and he was using ONE foot.

"It'll be a while," Monica said, trying to remember exactly how long it had taken her. Maybe a half hour or so? Probably more. And at the pace they were going, it could be a long, long time.

"Oh. Okay," Ross said.

"So you want to keep going?"

"Yeah, um, I guess so," Ross sighed.

Monica shrugged. "If you really think you can..."

But he couldn't. They stopped ten minutes later. Ross seemed dangerously close to tears and was moaning softly to himself. He was pretty much completely depending on Monica to keep him standing.

"That's it," Monica decided as Ross moaned again, "I'm going on, you two are staying here. I'll just go straight. I won't lose you. Okay?"

"Kay," Rachel answered. Ross simply nodded.

-----------------

"How long are we gonna walk on this stupid path?" Joey groaned. "I'm hungry."

"A little bit longer! Until we find them! I don't know!" Chandler said. He was definitely at the point of freaking out. No, this was more than freaking out. What was more than freaking out? What was the word for that? Why did he care about the wording?

He guessed that he'd started freaking out about the twenty-eighth time Phoebe had sung that stupid phrase, or maybe the nineteenth time Joey had mentioned that he was hungry or bored, or maybe the point that he realized he was never going to find them.

Joey was right. There was no chance of ever getting to them in time. Especially not on this path.

What happened to people who got lost in the woods, anyway? They must eventually find their way home, even on big mountains like this one. After all, there were plenty of people here.

But for now, they weren't here, and that would mean he'd have to take their car home and explain to their parents why the little piggies didn't cry wee wee wee all the way home.

Now where did that thought come from?

Oh yes, I'm freaking out.

"Chandler. Chandler," Joey said. "Chandler."

"Wha-what?" Chandler answered, probably a bit too late. How long had Joey been saying his name?

"You were just kind of staring off into space, you were scaring us... you okay now?"

"No, actually, I'm freaking out," Chandler said.

"Oh. Cool." Joey shrugged.

They kept walking.

-----------------

"Rach?" Ross said, trying to get comfortable. It wasn't working. His foot just hurt so much.

"Yeah?"

"Will you kiss me one more time?" Was he actually dizzy? Yes, that seemed to be the case.

"Now?"

"Did I just say that out loud?" Ross asked, wincing as he shifted into a particularly uncomfortable position. "Sorry..."

"You don't look so good," Rachel observed.

Ross rolled his eyes. "Oh, really?" he managed to reply sarcastically.

"Mm-hm," Rachel replied half-heartedly. But it was true. He really didn't look good. She could see why Monica was so worried. He'd turned a color that Rachel was fairly sure wasn't normal for humans.

"This is really awkward," Ross remarked.

"Yeah."

"So do you wanna kiss one more time?" Ross asked.

"Okay," Rachel said.

Rachel had just started to lean into it when Monica arrived. She fairly crashed into the clearing they'd been sitting in, and it looked like she had been running; her cheeks were red and she was gasping for breath.

"Hey Mon," Rachel said. "Back so soon?"

"Yeah," Monica said, "The path's not too far up that way" she pointed "and I think you can make it, Ross."

Rachel watched as Monica pulled Ross back up to his feet. He really was cute, she decided. Almost as cute as Chip.

Chip. She'd almost forgotten about her real, living boyfriend. Somehow going back to him just didn't seem as great as it had before she'd gone on this trip.

But it wasn't as if she could stay with Ross. He was, well, Ross. He was the dinosaur geek. And she was probably the most popular girl in Lincoln High.

Well, maybe someday she'd still know him and they'd officially get together.

Yeah right.

-----------------


	12. Somewhat Happy Reunions

Disclaimer: Arr, I be not a-owning friends. Don't sue, says I. Okay, says you.

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THE ONE WITH THE STORY ABOUT THE CAMPING TRIP

Chapter Eleven: Somewhat Happy Reunions

-----------------

"Oh my God!" Rachel exclaimed. "The path!"

Monica smiled and nodded while Ross moaned something that might have been an exclamation of happiness. "See? I told you guys," Monica said.

"And we never doubted you," Rachel said with a smile. It was actually the path. The path! "I can't believe it! We made it! We made it we made it we made it!"

"Well, not yet," Monica said. "We still have to find either camp or people."

"Oh, that'll be easy," Rachel scoffed. "I'll go one way, you'll go the other, and we come back here when we find something."

Monica's face broke out into a big smile as well. "You know, that might just work. Actually, I think it will. So Ross, you can stay here, and we'll come back after we find something, or, say, and hour? That work?"

"Sure," Rachel said. Ross said something like "Mmnngrn kay." Monica took it to mean yes.

"So let's go!" she said, suddenly filled with amazing energy. Forget that she was starving. Forget that she spent last night sleeping on the leaves with only her brother's jacket. This would be good, no, this would be great, and all because of her. She'd seen the path, she'd thought of the plan to get them here, and now they were going to find people, and get out of here,

"Mon? Mon," Rachel said. "We going? You're just standing there."

Monica grinned. "Sure!" she exclaimed.

Ross and Rachel traded glances and then the girls left. Ross settled down on a rock next to the path to wait.

-----------------

"Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God," Chandler said. "Hey Joey, Phoebe, OH MY GOD!"

"Chandler," both Joey and Phoebe said at about the same time. "Chandler calm down," Phoebe continued. "We'll find them. And if we don't, someone will. You don't need to freak out."

"Oh who's freaking out? You're here to save the stupid day and Joey I don't even know why he's here but now he's hungry and he's bored and we still haven't found them and Oh my god what are we going to do?" He paused to pant and then take a deep breath. "Oh yeah we're going to save the day sure right we're gonna save the day—"

"Chandler?" Joey said.

"Yeah huh what?"

"I have to pee. Do you mind stopping for a second?"

Joey wasn't entirely sure what Chandler said next, but it seemed like some kind of 'yes', so he nodded and grinned in thanks and ran off to the side to find a good bush.

Phoebe watched Chandler with concern. He was pacing frantically back and forth along the path, staring at the ground, and not really breathing. She decided to initiate contact. Sort of like what they did with aliens on TV. Take me to your leader. She smiled. Saying that to Chandler might not be the best idea. So she said:

"Chandler, talk to me. We'll find them, it's okay."

"No, we won't," Chandler stated, turning to face her and ceasing to pace. "We're never going to find them. Ever. These woods are big. And there are bears. Bears!"

Phoebe snorted. "Really, Chandler," she said. "How many stories in the newspaper are about campers lost forever or eaten by bears in upstate New York? Ever heard of Bear Mountains on the news? And you know they love to report things like that."

Chandler looked like he had some sort of response, probably sarcastic, but instead he sighed. Well, at least he was breathing now. Maybe this would be a good time to be asked to be taken to his leader. Then again, maybe not.

"Well, well, maybe you're right," Chandler said. "But how ARE we supposed to find them? I mean, it IS hopeless. Maybe they WERE eaten by the bear."

"If we don't, someone will," Phoebe said resolutely. "And what bear?"

"You know, the one from last night that we all ran away from like idiots?"

"Chandler, that was probably a really fat squirrel. We don't know. So just stop freaking out. Come over here. Let's hug."

Chandler shook his head, stared at the ground, then agreed. "Okay."

Phoebe wrapped her arms around him and they stood for a moment on the path. He put his head on her shoulder and sighed.

"Hey, hey, what do we have here?" Joey interrupted, zipping his fly as he walked back up to the path.

Chandler wanted to comment about how gross that was, but instead he just let go of Phoebe and said, "We have nothing here. Let's go."

"Okay then," Joey said, confused. Well, it didn't matter. He was hungry. He wondered if those berries over there were edible.

-----------------

Ross was very surprised when Rachel appeared back by his rock. "Okay, Ross, I just wanted to say, before we find someone, that we really can't talk about this, okay?"

"Huh?" Ross asked. "Oh. Yeah. Sure."

Rachel bit her lip. "I mean, people will hate both of us if the word gets out. And I didn't want to pretend that this never happened, but we really can't say that it did."

"Right. Okay," Ross said listlessly.

"Oh I'm sorry!" Rachel broke out. "I mean, I'd go out with you but I'm already going out with Chip and he hates you so please don't tell anyone. If he found out he'd dump me, and might hurt you or something... so don't say anything, please?"

Ross shrugged.

She sat down next to him and took his hand. "I'm really sorry," she said. "You're great, but I think this has to stay in the woods."

"Hey, hey, what do we have here?" someone interrupted.

Rachel jumped. up. A handsome guy of about her age was looking at her.

"Whoa," he said. "How you doin'?"

Before Rachel could respond, Phoebe and Chandler came into view. "Oh my God!" Rachel exclaimed as she let go of Ross, jumped up, and ran to hug Phoebe. The other girl seemed a bit surprised, and Rachel remembered that she really didn't know Phoebe that well. Then again, it didn't matter. They weren't lost anymore. They were even reunited with the others. This was so great so great so great!

"Dude, what happened to you?" Chandler asked Ross.

"I fell out of a tree," Ross said. And Rachel's never gonna talk to me again, probably. He wasn't sure which hurt more.

"I really don't know what to say to that," Chandler responded. "But are you okay?"

"No, not really," Ross said. "Mind driving me home, 'cause I don't think I can."

"Well, of course I don't mind," Chandler answered. "But uh, don't we need Monica? Where is she?"

"Oh, she's just looking up the other side of the path for people," Rachel cut into the conversation. "She'll be back any minute."

"See," Phoebe said triumphantly to Chandler, "They didn't get eaten by a bear."

Chandler half smirked at her with no humor then turned to Ross. "So what did happen to you guys?"

Ross, with plenty of help from Rachel, who was eager to tell the story, began to relate what had happened since the group had split at the stream. It seemed like a long time had passed, but it had been less than a day. Even the story didn't take much time to tell.

"So pretty much we just have to wait for Monica?" Chandler asked when Ross was done.

"Mm-hmm," Ross nodded.

-----------------

Monica did, of course, come, and shrieked in happiness as she saw the group. She threw her arms around Chandler, who was closest. to her. He looked a bit scared and carefully tried to transfer Monica over to Rachel. Monica didn't protest too much.

Chandler and Joey for the most part helped Ross stumble back to the campsite. A lot of this seemed like a blur, just more painful walking with his stupid injured foot. Anyway, half of his mind was focused on Rachel.

He would definitely miss her. He wondered if she'd still pierce him with those I-hate-you stares when he tried to talk to her, and whether she'd still laugh when she heard about the new thing that Chip had done to him. Would she change at all when they got back?

She already seemed like she was getting back to normal with her "Let's never ever talk about this, Ross" speech from earlier. She'd basically told him that Chip is once again God, you're once again crap, and I'm ashamed of ever having stuck my tongue in your mouth. So make sure no one ever knows I've sunk to that level.

It just wasn't fair. Nothing was fair. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Ross felt the tears start coming. Why now? he wondered. Why now when I'm surrounded by the only people I really respect, why now why now why now?

Monica came and kneeled down next to him. "Ross, what's wrong?" she asked.

He shook his head. Go away! Go away! Go away!

"Does your foot hurt?" Monica asked.

Ross shrugged. He couldn't exactly explain what was really making him cry.

"Okay, well we'll be home soon," Monica said comfortingly. "Don't worry."

Ross shrugged again and she went back to packing. He buried his head in his hands and it felt like he'd been sitting there for an eternity when Chandler came up and tentatively tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up. What did Chandler want? Well, not like it mattered. Rachel hated him.

"You hungry?" Chandler asked. "'Cause we've got some food now."

"Can't we just go home?" Ross asked.

"We are, in a minute. But Monica and Rachel are starving, and they said you probably would be too."

Ross wanted to make a comment about Monica always being starving, but she had given up her only food last night to him, so it didn't really seem appropriate. Also, the mention of Rachel's name only made him more depressed.

"So do you want something?" Chandler asked again.

Ross shrugged. "Sure."

As it turned out, Chandler had finally gotten over Joey's hot dog comment, and he'd roasted (with some help from Joey) hot dogs for them all. When he thought about it, this really hadn't been all that bad. Sure, he'd freaked out a little bit, but other than that it had been kinda fun. He'd have to do this some time. He speared the first ht dog and offered it to Monica. She took it gratefully.

"Chandler," Phoebe said when he'd tried to give her a dog, 'I'm a vegetarian. Don't you have anything but dead roasted animals?"

Chandler thought for a moment. Well, there were the hamburgers, and the hot dogs, and—

"Phoebe," he said, "I heartily recommend the s'mores."

-----------------

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Well, hope you liked... hope you review, too :)

More should be coming soon.


	13. Back Home

Disclaimer: Friends belongs to someone. I am not someone. Therefore I do not own Friends.

A/N: I said more would be coming soon… I'm sorry! I lied! But …drumroll… here is chapter twelve for your reading pleasure.

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THE ONE WITH THE STORY ABOUT THE CAMPING TRIP

Chapter Twelve: Back Home

-----------------

They said goodbye to Joey (who admitted that he had seven sisters that were probably wondering where he'd gone), and Monica, Rachel, Phoebe and Chandler began to haul the camping equipment back to the car.

The last thing they dragged into the car was Ross, who sat looking very pale and miserable in the back seat.

The drive was uneventful, for the most part. Monica took the wheel, though when she got tired she let Chandler take over. She'd considered letting Rachel or Phoebe take over, but based on Rachel's last driving test and Phoebe's general insanity, Chandler had been the best choice.

Though, Monica mused as he took them ten miles above the speed limit through a rather sharp turn, maybe _she_ should have kept driving.

"There's a truck stop," Chandler said, pointing to a sign on the side of the road.

"Okay…" Rachel answered. It was obvious she didn't care.

"Do you want me to stop there?" Chandler sounded as if he was talking to a child, and Rachel curled her lip indignantly.

"No," Ross said morosely.

"Actually," said Monica, "Maybe we should call our parents… you know, let them know that Ross needs to go to the hospital?"

They had almost passed the exit ramp, but Chandler swerved into it. Someone behind them honked their horn angrily, and Chandler muttered, "Oh, shut up," under his breath.

-----------------

"How much longer?" Rachel asked tiredly, reaching her arms up to the sky in an effort to get rid of her stiffness. It felt like they'd been in the car for hours and hours…

Chandler looked at her in disbelief. "Are you asking me 'Are we there yet?'" He shut the front door and started walking to the truck stop.

Rachel turned to Monica. "He's rude," she whispered. Monica nodded.

Rachel spotted the pay phone as soon as they got inside. She pointed it out to Monica, who hastened over to it.

"Damn," Monica said, "I don't have any quarters."

Rachel fished in her pockets. "Well, I do." She handed the coin to Monica.

"Hi, Mom," Monica said into the reciever. "Yeah…we're on our way home…um, he got hurt actually—no, I didn't do it!...he fell out of a tree, hurt his foot…yes, Mom, I know how terrible that is…okay, Mom… I was just letting you know… we're going to bring him to the ER on our way home…we weren't ignoring him, we got lost…yes, all night…I think my time's running out…okay, bye."

She hung up a bit more forcefully than necessary and shook her head. "Talking to my mom makes me want to kill things," she said.

"What did she say?" Rachel wanted to know.

"Oh, pretty much 'Why isn't Ross on the phone?' 'What happened to him?' 'Did you do it?' She could have cared less that we all got lost."

"Hmm," Rachel said.

Phoebe bounded out of the bathroom. "Guess what?" she said breathlessly.

"What?" Rachel and Monica asked at the same time.

"The soap is… pink!" Phoebe giggled. "Is that awesome or what?"

Rachel raised her eyebrows. Many things were awesome, but on her list, pink soap was not included. "What," she said.

"What?"

"Oh, never mind."

Chandler came from the direction of the pizza shop, munching on a deliciously cheesy slice. He held another on a plate in his hand. "We ready to go?"

"Yeah, I think so," Monica answered.

Chandler handed the pizza to Monica, who was currently sitting next to Ross. "Give that to your brother," he said as she raised it to her mouth to take a bite.

Monica snorted. "Fine."

-----------------

Rachel went home, and, by the next week, everything seemed back to normal. As soon as Chip had taken her up in his strong arms and kissed her, the memories of Ross had fallen away. It was all in the past, wasn't it?

They were watching a movie now, huddled up on his couch. The whole world of camping seemed distant and far away, as if it had happened to someone else. She reached out an arm and grabbed a handful of popcorn, bringing it to her mouth and chewing thoughtfully. She tried to imagine what it would be like to be leaning up against Ross instead of Chip. Somehow it just didn't work.

Rachel smiled. Yes, this was where she was meant to be.

She had changed a bit towards Ross, though. She wondered if he'd noticed at all. Like, just last week, she'd told Chip not to push his head into the water fountain. Chip had laughed, said, "Okay, Rachel," and Ross had mumbled a word of thanks and hobbled away on his crutches.

-----------------

Monica went back to life as she knew it. She supposed that had Phoebe stayed, life might have changed in that she would have spent time with Phoebe, but the girl had left a few days after the trip. Said something about "learning how to do something useful." Monica wasn't entirely sure what this was.

Chandler had left too, actually. This wasn't on his own whim, however. It had been his father's idea to send Chandler to an all-boys school, though it was his mother who had decided she would leave. As far as Ross knew, Mrs. Bing had decided that Chandler was hanging out with the wrong crowd. Monica didn't know what this meant, either.

Ross and Rachel were the same as ever, though. Monica had hoped a little bit that they would have bonded when they were in the forest, but there was no such luck.

Monica chewed the end of her pencil and tried to listen to her history lecture. There would be plenty of time to think about her friends when she didn't need to take notes.

"And can anyone tell me some of the reasons that the plague spread so quickly?" the teacher drawled.

Monica rolled her eyes. Nothing much happened after that.

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Next chapter should be up soon-ish. The more reviews I get, the faster I'll write. (Hint, hint).


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